In 2019, a few months before the series finale of Game of Thrones, I binge-watched the series for the first time, having avoided it for years despite recommendations.. Knowing I was 100% spoiler-free, I thought I’d amuse my Facebook friends by posting a stream-of-consciousness set of “reviews” trying to predict things that I knew with the benefit of all the hindsight, they’d enjoy.
These were never intended for archiving, so excuse any poor spelling, grammar etc.
Season One
1.1: Winter is Coming
MISSING
1.2: The Kingsroad
Oh! The boy that tumbled several flights out of a window onto his back is unbelievably still alive. Given how bloody the show is, and that we DIDN’T specifically see his smashed in skull last week, I probably should have seen that coming. Note for future, don’t trust implication.
Last episode I complained that everyone either seemed to be a dickhead or a non-formed character. Now the characters are getting a bit better formed, starting to find some sympathetic ones now. Most of House Stark seems alright (plus Jon Snow, even if he is a bit mopey). I know this all may change over time, but I’m glad to find some people to like for now.
Starting to get the hang of how everyone relates to each other, but only by faces. This is still a problem when someone gets referred to offscreen by name, so I’ve found what appears to be a spoiler free family tree that’s helping there.
Arya still adorbs (and her dog is awesome). Viserys still creepy as fuck. Emilia Clarke starting to get to do things other than get fondled and raped, hope that continues as I think she’s got more range to give.
Still VERY talky, obviously setting up a lot, but that’s fine, I’m not in a rush and there’s another 70-odd episodes for stuff to happen in!
Tagging people that *seemed* to take an interest in my post on 1.1. I get that watching someone else marathon isn’t for everyone though, so if you don’t want tagging in future, just let me know – absolutely no offence taken: Shaun, Emily-Jane, Summer, Thomas, Wil, Benjamin, Jennifer, Ian, Gary, Erik, Katie, Suzanne. Likewise if you want adding to this list, let me know. My posts will probably get shorter as time goes on as I’ll just be reacting to specific plot developments, while right now I’m just settling into the whole thing.
1.3: Lord Snow
In which Ned discovers the crown is seriously in debt, Arya practices sword fighting, Bran’s awake and hears tales of the White Walkers, Catelyn is reunited with Ned and shares her theory about Bran, Benjen prepares to leave The Wall (and Snow) to find the White Walkers and Daenerys is up the duff.
I feel quite sorry for Joffrey. He’s been painted to be a bit of a dick so far, but it’s clear his mother’s been putting him on a pedestal all along.
Oooh Aiden Gillen! I didn’t recognise him on the family tree, so that was a lovely surprise. Aiden’s great – hope Petyr lasts a while 🙂
Jon Snow still unbearably mopey for the most part (understandably) but he seems to be finally turning a corner, bonding with the others at The Wall.
Given that it seems to be snowing heavily in places, what’s with this “Winter is coming” malarkey? Looks like it’s already here. Rhetorical question, that, please no-one explain it to me.
VERY disappointed that now Daenerys is pregnant she seems to be quite happy with Drogo. He seemed to have been practically raping her the last two episodes – it’s quite a major change of tune. I appreciate there’s been time offscreen where maybe she’s experienced a bit of Stockholm Syndrome, but I wish we’d seen more development there.
Arya seems to be where a lot of the character development is focussed – not just the sword fighting, but also her age compared with the amount of screentime she’s getting. If she lives through a few seasons we’ll see her mature into a young woman, which should be very interesting.
Line of the episode: “…do YOU think I’m plump?” (Tyrion)
1.4: Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things
In which Bran has weird dreams (and Tyrion promises him he will ride again), Jon Snow trains with lesser fighters at The Wall (and gets to know a cowardly newcomer), Sansa worries she’ll only give birth to girls, Ned starts reading what appears to be an important book (?), Arya continues to train, Ned stumbles on the King’s bastard son (oooh), the tournament takes place and Lady Stark makes an accusation.
Ah, of the few things I knew about GoT, one of them was that there was a big guy called Hordor who keeps saying “Hordor”. He’s shown up! Fab. Not…. entirely sure what to make of him yet. The fact that I’ve heard of him suggests he’s either important or at least beloved by fans… looking forward to find out which and why…
Events at The Wall stay interesting. Sam is very sympathetic, and nice to see amongst all the cocky male characters the series is filled with.
Lots of talk about dragons. Obviously leading up to the appearance of one/some?
So far the show has portrayed a very male dominated society (not only are all the minor female characters prostitutes… even the important characters seem to dream of nothing more than serving their men). Ned reassures Arya that she will marry a powerful man one day, and she says “no. That’s not me”. I smiled 🙂 Then, a little later, Khaleesi scares the shit out of Viserys. Nice! I figured the women would start to shine eventually, didn’t realise so soon.
Oh god, the death at the joust. I nearly vommed.
No! It wasn’t Tyrion!!
1.5: The Wolf and the Lion
In which the jousts continue, Tyrion gets taken to Catelyn’s crazy sister, Arya chases a cat and overhears a plot to kill Ned, Robert and his council share with Ned the plan to kill Daenerys, which prompts Ned to leave, but not before Jaime shows up and confronts him.
My but doesn’t Aiden Gillen play “smug shit” well. I’ve only seen him before in Queer as Folk, and that smile is the same.
Oh goodness. Below-the-waist nudity of both men and women. Think that’s new.
How do the plotters that Arya overheard know so much about the various different families? They seem to have an impossible level of insight.
Love the face off between Petyr and Varys. So much tension and false smiling. Electric.
I haven’t given enough love to Sean Bean yet. He manages to convey a lot with a look.
The running joke that everyone thinks Arya is a boy!
Euw, crazy lady breastfeeding her grown boy! He seems pretty off his rocker too. I’m not even entirely sure why Catelyn took Tyrion there, besides to give us the entertainment of some new batshit characters.
Ah after a couple of sapphic scenes in previous weeks, a bit of dude-on-dude action as a character who’s name I’m not clear on shaves another character who’s name I’m not clear on. Damn, I thought I’d got the hang of who everyone was.
Shit! Some shocking and quick deaths at the end there, at Jaime’s command.
…half way through the first season.
Tyrion line of the week: “oh, did I kill him too? I’ve been a VERY busy man…”
1.6: The Golden Crown
In which Bran goes for a ride and gets attacked, Arya continues training*, things get complicated with the Targaryens, Ned goes on a power trip, Ned realises Joffrey’s hair colour is different to his siblings and pViserys goes a bit nuts at the latest Targaryen party, demanding a crown.
*have a feeling this might go on a while, might not keep referring to it every episode.
Presenting these now as a bit more of an untidy free-flowing commentary. Previously I was tidying things up before posting, but with twists and surprises happening mid-episode I think this way is better.
Hm. I hoped Emilia Clarke would have more to do soon than get raped a lot. She’s now moved on to stroking a dragon egg a lot. I’m sure there’s more to come with her.
Tyrion rolling in his sleep – long drop – eeek!
Oh, Emilia Clarke eating and re-eating a heart. Not quite what I had in mind when I wanted more from her. Viserys doesn’t seem too happy about the whole pregnancy thing peither – did he really not see this coming?
Tyrion buttering the guard up (“you’re a smart man!”) is great… and Hitch-Hikers fans like me may have had a wonderful flashback to the Vogon guard.
(Crying) “I close my eyes… I can still see her tits bouncing”. Actually, Tyrion’s whole confession is comedy genius.
Robin is a messed up kid.
And Sanser is a right bitch – so mean to Septa (“I just realised… I don’t care”).
“I don’t want someone brave and gentle and strong, I want HIM”. I adore the little smirks Ned and Arya have when Sanser inadvertently emasculates Joffrey.
Oh WOW, I thought Viserys was going to last a lot longer. I mean, I’m assuming he’s dead and not just passed out and we’re going to spend the rest of the show watching a half-gold-man. Seriously, I thought he was a long-term character. Quite a surprise that one. And a cool death. And, let’s face it, deserved.
So, coming to the last third of the season. I’m really surprised that although there’s “action”, it’s all very political and personal. I was expecting huge battles gearing up by now, not lots of infighting and power struggles. There’s a time and a place for both, so I’m not saying this in disappointment or pleasure, just surprise. It’s not what I expected at all.
1.7: You Win or You Die
In which Ned figures everything out about the Lannisters, Littlefinger enjoys some lesbian action, a horse shows up at The Wall without a rider, Robert dies and makes Ned King, Sam and Jon receive their orders at The Wall (Jon’s not happy) and civil war breaks out over the claim to the throne.
Yay! Charles Dance! Fantastic! Brilliant actor, although in recent years ruined a bit for me by The Big Fat Quiz of the Year.
Dance’s first scene seems to be a lot of character exposition. Individual glory doesn’t matter, ONLY the family name. That spells out a lot about his upcoming arc, unless it’s a curveball. It’s odd for this show to be so unsubtle.
“Your brother or your lover?”… wow Ned figured out that very quickly based on Joffrey’s hair colour! And she confessed to it pretty quick too. Great confrontation scene though. Reminds me overall that this show is largely a lot of great dialogue performed by top-rate actors referring to the “big stuff” happening offscreen, which is very Shakespeare.
Thanks Keith, you’ve made me really notice how inconsistent Aiden’s accent is.
Love Theon’s prisoner asking him to explain why she has to call him Lord. As someone not too fond of the monarchy myself, I appreciated her words.
“I miss girls. Not even talking to them, I never talked to them.” Aww Sam, you’re me 20 years ago.
Wait, what? Robert’s on his deathbed now? That’s another one I thought was going to last for ages. Varys seems to be busy stirring already, blaming the Lannisters.
The wine merchant trying to poison Daenerys was a tense scene. Couldn’t figure out if it was actually poison or not until he ran – the actor nicely didn’t play up the tension, leaving it a bit of a mystery.
Alliser’s a bit of an idiot isn’t he? I know he and Jon Snow don’t exactly get along, but surely he must accept Jon’s a brilliant fighter. Assigning him to the Stewards seems to be very wasteful. I’m sure things will change…
Drogo’s gone a bit excitable again. This time he’s giving away horses to people who save his queen’s life. Nice trade.
Erm, what’s Joffrey doing looking all comfy on the throne? Oh, wait, he doesn’t know about Robert’s wishes. Oh. Bloody hell, this is going to get messy.
Littlefinger, with his blade at Stark’s neck: “I did warn you not to trust me”. :O
1.8: The Pointy End
In which the battle for the throne concludes for now, Arya has a bit of a turning point getting to use the pointy end, Joffrey and mum well and truly take control, Daenerys exercises some of her power for good, Tyrion meets his father bringing some companions he’s indebted to with him, Joffrey is crowned
Woah, Arya’s teacher just took out a bunch of guys in one go. So cool.
Shit, did Arya just kill a boy? Um. OK, that’s gonna mess her up. I know she’s tough and everything but…
Varys chatting with Ned. He’s a sneaky slippery bugger but he’s one of the most clever characters. “Who do you truly serve?” asks Ned. “The realm” is the answer. Nah, I think Varys serves his own survival – I expect him to be around for a long time by wits alone.
Yay, Tyrion’s back after a week off, and he has a new friend. “Whatever their price, I’ll beat it – I LIKE living!”
What the fuck unkillable thing just attached Jon Snow? OK, here’s the fantasy element.
Khaleesi: “I do not have a ‘gentle heart’” she says as she stops some pillaging. Reminds me of the current political climate where caring about others can get you accused of being a weak snowflake – actually caring can be a strength. It’s a really nice moment.
Ohhhhh why did you just call Daenerys a “foreign whore” in front of Drogo? Do you expect to live the next 10 minutes?!
(30 seconds later…) we’ll be didn’t last long. But really, was he even thinking?
Oh, Hodor’s back, and his willy goes down to his knees. I see why he’s so popular now.
Tyrion: “We have our differences Jaime and I. He is braver. I am better looking”. Fair point.
Eeesh, after all this now Jaime is also head of the King’s guard. Things are getting pretty awful at the top.
And Ned has to admit that Joffrey is the king before he’ll receive any mercy… yes, I think the next episode or two will be verrrry interesting.
Just to say you guys – I LOVE the comments. I get excited posting these waiting to see what you think, and seeing the discussions you get into between each other (thank you SO much for being spoiler-sensitive, I massively appreciate it). So if you’re thinking something and wondering if it’s worth saying, please do 🙂
1.9: Baelor
In which Cate approaches Walder Frey for support, Jon Snow inherits a blade and then learns he needs to leave to join the fight, Khal Drogo is thrown from his horse leaving Daenerys to try and keep order, the Lannisters prepare for battle, Tyrian opens up, and Ned… oh, Ned.
The Starks are killing all the ravens that leave Walder Frey’s castle. That can’t be wise, whoever this Frey chap is.
Wow David Bradley. Everyone’s in this! He’s playing the same gruff grumpy sod he always does, but great to see him doing it with a brilliant script.
Cate telling Robb he has been betrothed in a trade is a good scene. We’re so used to seeing women being treated that way, and the sadness in their eyes as they see their life choices ebbing away – it’s great to see a reversal of expectations, and both actors did really well.
Interesting relationship Tywin has with Tyrion, putting him on the front line… eeesh.
Drogo doesn’t look too well. What’s that going to mean for Daenerys? Considering the tribe refuse to follow her, doesn’t that leave her without much besides an unborn son? Still, this gives Emilia Clarke the opportunity I’ve been waiting for all season. “I have never been nothing”.
That poor horse! Damn I hope the magic works after all that.
Wow, Ser Jorah made quick work of that guy who was trying to stop the witch. Nice one!
Tyrion: “You once loved a woman many years ago but it turned out badly so you’ve never loved again…. oh wait, that’s me”. (Drinks) Awwww, that makes me sad.
I’m liking Shae. I liked her when she first appeared. The fact that Tyrion can’t read her makes her most intriguing. Hope she sticks around. She’s kinda set up as one-off but I’m trying to be optimistic.
Tyrion told the story of his love. I’m welling up now. Don’t make me more sad. This sucks.
Hm. Tyrion got knocked out before battle even began. Accident, or someone doing him a favour?
Wait, the Starks sacrificed 2000 people to capture Jaime? Brutal.
Oh Ned, don’t “confess”. No! Oh this is just awful. Would he have done it if he hadn’t seen Arya I wonder (sudden reminder that he has other responsibilities)?
What the FUCK Joffrey? His head?! Sansa’s smile dropped moments after mine did, as I started to realise something was about to go horribly wrong.
Even then I was so convinced he was going to get out of it, my hand involuntarily leapt to cover my mouth as the blade came down.
WOW.
1.10: Fire and Blood
In which Arya is taken away, Bran gives us a history lesson, news travels of Ned’s beheading, power shifts to new people in almost every house, Jon Snow leaves The Wall, Drogo finally dies, Arya goes undercover as a boy, and Daenerys… well, yes, Daenerys. Quite an episode for her.
I wonder how much of the family tree description Bran gives us will turn out to be useful information? It didn’t stick for me.
Everyone dealing with Ned’s death in different ways is beautiful and realistic.
Joffrey really has settled into that thrown – and the power – very quickly. What an awful awful child. I still pity him, it’s all his mother’s doing, but I still want to slap him. “You look quite nice” he says offhandedly to the girl who’s father he’s had slain. “And as soon as you’ve had your blood I’ll put a son in you”. *shudders* although I’m fairly sure I used that line at his age.
You’re showing her the HEAD?! You sick sick man. Ok, maybe I don’t pity him.
I am forseeing an arc where Joffrey treats Sansa more and more brutally until eventually she kills him – or worse. Don’t tell me if I’m on the right lines, but if there’s any justice in this world, I’m at least somewhat right.
On the plus side, Robb seems to have stepped up to take command of his realm nicely.
Oooh Cate smashing Jaime’s face in. More justice. You go.
Is there anyone Cersei isn’t sleeping with?
Tyrion as the new Hand. Oh I like that. I mean, anything for more Tyrion action!
Daenerys gave birth to some half-dragon creature… offscreen? Hmmm. I’m not sure I buy that. May be more to it. Maybe not. But now she and Drogo have been abandoned. I wonder what’s next for them, now they don’t have an army. By rights their story is over. But I know it’s not because she needs to visit a Starbucks.
She’s suffocating him? Oh that’s dark. Sad now.
Pycelle rambling on while a woman gets post-coitally dressed and flashes us everything. I think someone referred to that as ‘sexposition’. Also euw. Also to be fair I hope I’m still getting some at his age.
Another seething confrontation between Littlefinger and Varys bitching at each other in front of the throne. It’s a great relationship – almost feels like they’re really very close friends, just trying to playfully outwit each other.
And back to Arya, who is now a boy because she has short hair. Unlikely, but it’s not the first time that’s happened in literature and I was only comparing this show to Shakespeare a few days ago. And oh, is that Gendry back? Yay! I was hoping he wouldn’t be a throwaway character. Nothing interesting about him personallh yet, but he has potential to throw up some interesting story.
That was an… affectionate kiss from Daenerys to Jorah. *eyebrow raise*. Ah, I see, is she raising a new army herself now? Nice. This should be VERY interesting.
And oh! A couple of little dragons! How cute!
So the season seems to have ended with very little known about the White Walkers. Guess they were there to tease future seasons. And whilst the story in a way is quite nicely wrapped up, a lot of the pieces have shifted such that I’m very intrigued to see what 2.1 brings… tomorrow…
Season Two
2.1: The North Remembers
In which Joffrey continues to enjoy power, Tyrion arrives home and causes some havoc, Daenerys and Jon Snow both continue their journeys, the Lannisters finally spot that Arya’s missing, and a brothel gets raised.
Have the opening credits got even longer?
Sansa is already talking like a completely broken woman. I’m so sad how quickly that happened (although understandable). I really hope something happens there.
Ooh, a small role for Tony Way. He shows up in everything! Aaaand, first vom of the series. At least it wasn’t me.
This is the second time Cersei has been pissed off by someone rocking up with a letter confirming they’ve been granted some power. I like the parallel. I don’t think anyone’s going to behead Tyrion though.
Bran’s still having strange dreams. I hope this builds to something soon. I have little patience for “meaningful” dream sequences that take ages to make sense.
Daenerys is on a long walk with a ragtag group of underdogs and a pet dragon or two. Although I always love seeing what’s going on with the Lannisters, this was probably the open end I was most eager to see more of, going into this season.
Jon Snow and friends reach Craster’s Keep. Lots of foreshadowing and build up happening there it seems. And more incest.
Oooh, who’s this Stannis bloke and everyone with him? That’s a whole new element. And someone else fighting for the throne. Starting to understand why the series is called what it is 😉 And several new characters to get to know. Right, bare with me on this one as I’m not using a family tree this season (I can’t find one – if anyone has one handy I’d appreciate it!)
Oh, I won’t worry about learning their names just yet. Someone’s just been killed.
Loving the relationship between Tyrion and Shae. Glad she’s sticking around for now. Hope she has a few more episodes in her.
Wow, for a moment I thought Littlefinger was a gonner, as Cersei (briefly) ordered his death.
The importance Cersei is placing on Arya really hints more at the importance she has to the overall plot of the series, which I’m starting to become more convinced of.
I feel like we’ve rolled back to early season one now, with new characters and situations causing more “new setup exposition”. Which is fine, but I guess you may have to wait a few more days before more “oh fuck!” moments from me.
Wait. They just killed a baby! Oh fuck.
2.2: The Night Lands
In which Arya and Gendry get into a scrape, Sam considers rescuing a girl from Craster’s Keep, Theon gets jiggy on a ship, Tyrion moves around some pieces at King’s Landing and Theon is reunited with his family.
Maisie Williams still undercover as a boy. We’re reminded of this by plenty of people shouting “boy!” at her. Yoren is very cool – another in a long line of characters that make awesome threats to people who by all rights should have the upper hand.
Oh dear, everyone laughing at Tyrion’s warnings. I’ve watched enough TV to know you NEVER brush off fantastical warnings. It’s called tragedy, people.
Awww, Sam’s talking to a girl who thinks he’s brave. Awwww ❤️
Wait, who killed Rakharo? Either way, interesting to see Daenerys continue her leadership development.
Eew, Littlefinger, spying on a customer. Euw.
Tyrion calmly putting that guy through a loyalty test. He’s so wonderfully offhand and calm, he can get away with so much 🙂
…oh, wasn’t even a loyalty test, just getting him out of the way. Even better.
Ohhh that little look of concern Tyrion gives when he realises Bronn has no morals at all. Things aren’t happy there.
Lovely relationship forming between Arya and Gendry. Makes me smile.
I’m going off Theon a bit. He’s quite an arrogant tit really. It’s all about “look at me, I have power” with him – he’s like a taller version of Joffrey without a throne to sit on.
Oooh Patrick Malahide from Luther. Cool! Love his voice.
Hang on – Theon had been flirting with his own sister? LMAO, brilliant. OK, I can go easy on him for a bit now, he’s had some karma.
Tyrion line of the week: “I’m no King but I THINK there’s more to ruling than that”.
Close runner up: (Cersei: It’s all fallen on me) “As has Jaime repeatedly, according to Stannis Baratheon”.
We’re definitely back into “lots of talking, setting things up for the future” territory – but there’s definitely some exciting things brewing. Particularly interested now to see what happens with Theon’s father.
2.3: What is Dead May Never Die
In which Jon Snow discovers the secrets of Craster’s Keep and the Night’s Watch leave, Bran continues to have nightmares, Renley enjoys a tournament, Tyrion continues to move the pieces around (telling everyone a slightly different plan), Renley’s secret’s out and we find out where Pycelle’s loyalties lie.
I hadn’t really noticed before but since joining The Wall and getting away from the Starks, Jon Snow has been a bit less emo. He seems more comfortable in himself.
Awww, Sam’s been separated from the sweet girl. Sad. Hope they’re reunited some day.
Had to pause for a few minutes to figure out who Renley was by re-reading the plots on Wikipedia in reverse order. Seems like he vanished middle of the first season after not having done much, and now they’ve thrust him back into the plot after some offscreen developments. Confusing. Think I’ve caught up though. He’s another, like Stannis, that’s decided he’s the real king, right? Could get messy if they meet.
Enjoying the relationship between Theon and his sister. And that whole family really – great dynamic.
Tyrion described Shae as “a weakness”. Just what I’ve been thinking. Sooner or later someone’s going to see Tyrion’s obvious affection to her and use it against him. This won’t end well for her.
Sophie Turner is putting in a brilliant performance. Sansa’s treating Shae like shit, but it’s so clear that a lot of it’s down to the stress Sansa’s going through that you can’t help but feel sorry for her. Bravo.
The scene where Tyrion tells everyone a slightly different version of his plan to marry Myrcella off is well directed, editing them together seamlessly off-beat. It’s an old trick but well done here.
Ohhhh Renley’s one of the gay ones that was either shaving or being shaved last season? I don’t even recall the context now. Just the shaving. Margaery’s onto him though. Erm, bless her for trying. And for being willing to get her brother involved. Kinky bitch.
Oh, Theon’s chosen his allegiance for good then (burnt a letter). Bad call in my opinion but not surprising.
Clever Tyrion. Surprised it was Pycelle! I guess his doddering was a bit of an act. Smart old fool. Not smart enough.
Interesting thoughts on power by Varys. He seems to be buttering up Tyrion – not sure whether it’s genuine or he’s just aligning himself where he thinks it’s safest.
Wow. I was starting to type: no adult deaths for a few weeks I don’t think? Must be about due. And now Yoren! Awww, I was starting to like him. And Lommy! That was brutal. Man, Arya’s seen some STUFF.
2.4: Garden of Bones
In which Robb Stark orchestrates a massacre, Joffrey is pure evil, Littlefinger visits Renly, Daenerys heads to the Garden of Bones, Arya’s situation gets worse (and then better), Tyrion has some fun and agrees to release Pycelle,
Oooh check out another offscreen massacre (Robb leads a huge attack on the Lannisters). Once again very Shakespeare. I’m cool with that – the people are more interesting than the battles but the battles have to happen to give the people something to talk about.
Joffrey is pointing a crossbow at Sansa. He’s given up any pretence of doing anything but keeping her as a slave. What a cock.
Oh what the fuck, now he’s having her stripped and attacked in front of everyone?! He sinks lower. Thank Christ for Tyrion – our hero. “THAT was a threat, see the difference?”
And now he’s getting the prostitutes to beat each other senseless. Is this just an episode focussed on Joffrey’s cruelty? I do look forward to his death.
Littlefinger, what are you doing with Renly? Treacherous shit. Although it’s a better group to side with than the Lannisters, part of me doesn’t blame him.
Oh wow, trying it on with Cate? Stretching your luck there.
Things aren’t looking good for Arya. I’d be convinced she was about to die, except that I’m convinced she’s going to go the distance on this show…
Daenerys is being a bit crappy to the Thirteen. She’s desperate and they’re being difficult, but politeness will probably get her further than threats… oh. Actually, the threats seem to have done the trick. Tsk.
Yay, Charles Dance riding in like the cavalry to save Arya, Gendry, and a bunch of no-names! And LMAO, he’s the only one who immediately spots she’s a girl.
Erm – the ending. Did that woman just give birth to a Dementor? That was creepy af.
2.5: The Ghost of Harrenhal
In which Cate and Renly ally themselves (briefly), Tyrion explores the community, Theon meets his crew, Jon Snow and friends trudge through snow, Tyrion is shown the Wildfire – LOTS of it, Daenerys settles in at Qarth, Cate and Brienne go on the run, and Jaqen pays his first debt.
Erm, Renly? This is a dream sequence right..? Wow, Renly just got killed without much warning or eventfulness. Gave Brienne some awesome sword-wielding to do though! But yeah, that was quite a shock in how offhand it happened.
Aiden Gillen’s accent is getting very distracting. He’s gone back to his natural Irish, and with the whispery gravelly thing, he just sounds like Liam Neeson.
Tyrion toying with Lancel is a new comedy height. Loving it!
Interesting that the people are starting to see Joffrey as a “rotten king”. I wonder if he’ll see a revolt of sorts? He can’t keep up the pretence that he’s anything other than a child for long…
…and on that topic, Theon’s new crew don’t respect him. I’m sure this will change. Looking forward to that journey.
Twyin’s figured out Arya’s story doesn’t add up. Gives Masie Williams some meaty dialogue for the first time this season, after several episodes of pretty much standing around.
Awww, Sam’s thinking of that girl. He’s in love!
GORGEOUS scenery shots out in the snow. Really beautiful.
“This is a shit idea”.
Awww, some proper closeups of a baby dragon and he’s so adorbs!
Who’s the creepy bald Warlock fuck(s)? Eeesh, I don’t like him.
Conversation between Cate and Brienne where Brienne promises to protect her as long as she can have her vengeance, really gets us into Brienne’s mindset. She’s a rounded character now.
Urgh, Bran’s still going on about his dreams and we still don’t understand them. I’ve already said this but as a reminder: I find “meaningful” dreams leave me very impatient. If we don’t get to the bottom of them quickly it irritates. Hurry up and get to the point already…
Someone’s seen through Jorah’s love for Daenerys. Wasn’t just me then…
And Jaqen offs someone for Arya. Nice ending 🙂
2.6: The Old Gods and the New
In which Winterfell falls, Joffrey’s empire starts to crumble, Daenerys continues to settle in at Qarth (and asks for some ships), Arya intercepts a message, Robb gets cockblocked by a badly-timed appearance by his mum and things go wrong yet again for Daenerys.
I know it’s been a few days since I last watched, but I seem to have missed a step. Theon has taken Winterfell, practically offscreen! I know there was a lot of moaning about a big battle in the final season taking place in the dark, so I’m sure battles will happen, but for now they’re doing a great job keeping them low budget 😉
Oh Theon, you really are bitter aren’t you? The latest in a long line of great TV characters (not just in GoT) who are shits with believable backstories.
Rodrik has an amazingly brave moment before he dies, reassuring Bran. I’m not crying, YOU’re crying. As with Ned, right up until the sword struck I thought he was going to get a reprieve. Fuck.
Tense moment when Littlefinger shows up for a chat with Tywin (he gets everywhere) and Arya has to hide her face.
Jon Snow can’t seem to kill women. Wonder if that’s something that will come back to bite him.
Oh David Verrey in a small role. For some reason as soon as I noticed that all those ubiquitous Brit actors were showing up, I was waiting for him. No Olivia Colman so far.
Good to see some people – especially Tyrion – standing up to Joffrey. Beginning of the end?
Wow Jaqen works fast when he needs to! And that’s two…
Oh dear Theon, you’ve been tricked by some boobs.
Wow. Massacre at Qarth – and where are the dragons going?!
2.7: A Man Without Honour
In which Bran and friends escape Winterfell, Jon Snow wakes up after a night of spooning, Daenerys questions who she can trust, Sansa bleeds, Jaime escapes, the Thirteen get massacred, Jaime gets caught and tries to get provoke Cate into killing him, and Theon shows what happens if you don’t back him.
Theon loses his temper because of his own inadequacies. He’s really taking over Joffrey for me as one of the more interesting dickheads.
Some sexy as hell flirting going on between Jon and Ygritte. Maybe it’s the Essex boy in me that loves the rough 😉
Nice relationship being built between Arya and Tywin. Love the little hint he gives her that he’s onto her, but still helps her pose as a commoner a little better.
Daenerys is really suffering. Again. Anyone that suffers this much and lives is destined for something big.
Christ, Ygritte is dirty af. I’m not complaining, just observing. And maybe doing Google Image searches.
Eeessh Sansa’s bleeding. As Cersei says, this is the start of something she always wanted. Not any more. Oh Sansa, I really didn’t like you at first, now I’m so scared for you.
Oh! Jaime’s back. I feel like I haven’t seen him for ages. And plenty of good dialogue to welcome him back. Although “you’ll only have to do one thing… you’ll have to die” was gloriously predictable.
Wow, scary member of the Thirteen did something scary (killed the rest of the Thirteen). Didn’t see that coming. I mean, I didn’t see that specifically coming, but he was going to do something scary sooner or later.
Did Jaime manage to get Cate to kill him?! We must know! Although I suspect not.
Bran and Rickon?! What?! Nah, I don’t buy that. Charred remains could be anyone. I hope…?
Game of Thrones 2.8: The Prince of Winterfell
In which Yara rocks up at Winterfell, Jon and Robb continue their unlikely romantic pursuits, Tyrion and Bronn prepare to defend King’s Landing, Jaqen is given a final name, Cersei thinks she gets one over Tyrion, Arya escapes and Stannis prepares to arrive.
Yara winding up Theon is far more entertaining than it should be.
Ygritte’s going to lengths to protect Jon. I think that flirting had more than a little basis in reality. On the flip side, I have no real interest in Robb and whateverhernameis. Apologies if she’s going to turn out to be some amazing and important character, for now they’re not doing anything for me.
Brienne and Jaime have some good interplay, that’s new.
Tyrion struggling to pronounce the name of the person that wrote about the surges of Westeros had me in stitches.
I haven’t yummed over the scenery for some time now, but hats off to the visuals of Jon and the Night’s Watch walking through the snow – watching these on a half-decent TV and they’re just beautiful scenes.
Yeah, OK, Arya giving Jaqen his own name was super-predictable. But a nice moment. Although I also hoped they’d string out the third name for several more seasons – could have been a good long arc.
More great Cersei/Tyrion dialogue. Man I wish they’d get a two-hand episode together. And wow, quite a threat from Tyrion there after Ros is mistakenly captured. I hope it comes true and Cersei falls at his hand one day. For now though, Shae needs to watch her back…
Oh, now Robb and Talisa are banging. Yawn.
My, Joffrey’s a cocky bugger, planning on standing up to Stannis alone. How is he even still alive? Can’t last.
Not exactly a shock Bran’s still alive. Twice now we’ve seen him “die” offscreen. I fell for it once. Plus we’ve not really had a resolution to his weird dreams.
2.9: Blackwater
In which Stannis attacks King’s Landing. Literally that’s all I need to say to jog anyone’s memory for this one, right?
(Note while the below is always stream of consciousness, the synopsis above is something I tidy while I watch the episode. So yeah, this synopsis got a lot of tidying when I realised!)
Seems like Stannis is getting close… something’s brewing. Is this the “big things happen in episode 9” trend again?
With all the drinking and singing at King’s Landing, there’s definitely an ominous feeling that something’s coming…
Varys: “I’m not entirely sure what you’re suggesting”.
Tyrion: “I’m entirely sure you’re entirely sure what I’m suggesting”.
Oh god Joffrey’s still cocky even now Stannis is here. I thought now he might start to get real. But no. Oh, I love Sansa’s realisation that Joffrey’s about to stride to his death, and suddenly becoming very encouraging!
I’m not squeamish about menstruation, but there’s far too much chat about Sansa bleeding for my liking.
Half way through and only one location, so I’m guessing this is going to be one big battle.
Aaaand here’s where this year’s budget went. Pretty green explosions.
Cersei referring to Sansa as a slice of cake waiting to be eaten. Damn she’s a creepy fuck. By rights I want her to die soon (ideally today) but she’s too entertaining.
Some marvellously gruesome deaths during the siege. Yay!
Hound: “Fuck the King”. Oh dear, even if the Lannisters get through this, Joffrey seems to be losing allies. I almost feel sorry for him. /sarcasm.
There’s a LOT going on here, but we’re 10 mins to the end and I don’t THINK any major characters died. Just extras. I’m… surprised.
Is Sansa finally going to escape?!
Tyrion: “Oh, fuck me”.
Tyrion are you OK?! Looks like a nasty flesh wound but he doesn’t look well. Pull through, Tyrion!
Who’s the cavalry?!
Cersei telling the story to Tommen and preparing to poison him is heartbreaking. Lena is an amazing actress. How DARE she make me feel sympathy for Cersei!
Oh yay Tywin!
So, I’m not usually fussed about big battles. If I’d known this was going to be a whole episode dedicated to one I’d have dreaded it. I’d have wanted alternating between that and some quieter scenes elsewhere. But you know what, it was SO well shot it kept me engaged for the whole hour. Very well done guys!
2.10: Valar Morghulis
In which Joffrey gives out rewards to those who can’t to his aid, Brienne and Jaime continue their journey, Stannis confronts Melisandre about his defeat, Winterfell is under siege, Jaqen reveals a secret power, Daenerys has a vision and shows off the power of her dragons and Sam faces some scary creatures.
Ohhh Tyrion’s been screwed over. Is this the start of him turning from the comic relief to something more serious?
Ooooh Margaery talking to Joffrey about her feelings deep inside (*vom*). Mixed feelings here – she’s a cunning one, but it might release Sansa, right? I mean… surely this has to be good news for her? Oh. Littlefinger, you have a good point though, he’s not going to let her go. Sansa, take his offer of help!
Don’t laugh at Brienne having a prisoner you daft prats. You won’t live.
Ah yes, there we go. She’s a tough cookie.
And just a little bit psychotic. Cool.
Theon seems to be getting some balls. I still don’t respect him but he’s definitely an interesting character. LMAO at the timely knocking out at the end of his speech though – brilliant! But wait – has Luwin been killed?! Blimey!
Awww Shae and Tyrion ❤️. If I were a teenage girl I’m sure I’d be shipping them or something. Bleurgh, shame we cut from a lovely romantic scene of them to Robb marrying that bird with the name I can’t remember.
Jaqen, you pop up everywhere! Valar Morghulis eh? What does that mean? And ooooh your beautiful face has changed! What’s THAT all about? Yay for another rare fantasy element. They really do tease the whole fantasy thing out very slowly don’t they?
Winterfell, erm, fell. And again we’re back to offscreen battles. And Luwin is, implausibly, alive but looking a bit peaky.
Weird shit happening to Daenerys. Visions? Kinda losing track of what’s going on with her right now. But yay, nice to see Drogo again briefly. Oooh creepy guy’s back! Ooooh creepy guy’s burned by dragons – yay!
Go Jon! Killed Qhorin. He asked for it.
Bloody hell. Xaro too. They’re offing everyone in this episode. Again though, he asked for it.
Oh dear Sam, things don’t look good for you now either. Surely someone has to survive this episode?!
And wow, nice cliffhanger. After wondering where the hell the white walkers had got to… they’re here!
Season Three
3.1: Valar Dohaeris
In which Sam survives, Jon Snow arrives at the wildling camp, Tyrion arranges protection, Davos is rescued, Tyrion tries to get some recognition, Davos argues with Melisandre and Daenerys meets the unsullied.
Another funny sounding episode title. Sounds similar to 2.10’s title. Link?
First cold open (excuse pun) since 1.1 I think?
Euw, dude holding his own severed head. Nasty.
Mance Ryder – new character. Important one? Feels like he might be around for a bit. I guess this whole clan is going to be – they’ve been building up their introduction for half a season now. More new people to get to know!
More great Cersei/Tyrion dialogue as they meet in his new abode. Wonderful. “Yoire a clever man. But you’re not half as clever as you think you are”. “That still makes me more clever than you”.
Oh! Davos is still alive! What’s coming up next for him since the writers bothered to spare him?
I’m definitely waiting for Tyrion to snap now. He HAS been wronged and now his own father is telling him to stop looking for applause. He is really being pushed. I wonder if this is going to be a Londo story (for those non-B5 fans reading: a sympathetic clown who, after being pushed around a lot, turned into a complete arse when he had the opportunity).
Oh, is Sansa taking up Littlefinger’s offer now? Careful…
Davos, you be careful too. Melisandre isn’t someone to mess with.
Margaery’s an interesting one. Not sure what to make of her. Generally I’d say “cunning and deceitful” and leave it at that, but half the time I’m not sure what her game is. Sweet seeing her talking to the orphans though. She seems nice. I don’t think she really is.
Margaery and Cersei verbal sparring possibly better than C/T, as C/M clearly very similar women. And they say boys marry their mothers 🙄
Aaah, I have been referred to by some people here as “unsullied”. Now I understand the meaning of that word, I’m fairly sure I’m sullied 😉
Euw nipple removal! EUW! OW!
Holy crap that scorpion thing is creepy af. Close call there Daenerys, don’t be so trusting next time. Thankfully Obiwan Kenobe was there to save you.
Oh, Obiwan was the Kings Guard! Oooh development.
I am already liking this season.
3.2: Dark Wings, Dark Words
In which Bran continues to dream, Cate learns of the fate of Winterfell, Cersei and Joffrey debate Margaery, Sansa tells Margaery of Joffrey’s “mercy”, Snow gets to know the Wildlings more and meets a Warg, Bran meets Jojen, Arya makes new friends, Theon is tortured and Brienne has competition for Jaime.
Oh, that’s that kid from LoveActually and Family of Blood isn’t it? Again all the British actors show up sooner or later.
Theon getting tortured made me squirm. Don’t care what a knob he is, no-one wants to see that.
Brienne: “I did not… FANCY him”. Love the interplay between her and Jaime. Although I am kinda waiting for more plot for her, especially after Shaun built her up so much!
Shae thinks Littlefinger has impure feelings for Sansa. Hm. Not so sure but euw anyway 😉 Shane’s a good woman, I still like her. So I’m also waiting for her to die a horrible and unfair death.
Oooh does Sansa have a little thing for Loras? they’re both quite sweet, but less irritating than Robb/Talisa.
Hahaha Diana Rigg! I was warned this episode had the best guest star ever. I find Diana a bit overrated but always fun to see, and has some wicked lines 🙂 She seems to be playing herself as always 😉
Poor Sansa is broken. This is awful. I also don’t know if I trust them not to betray her trust – I’m not sure these were the right people to tell what an awful guy Joffrey is.
Cate opening up about her feelings surrounding Jon Snow. Of course it’s all obvious but so far all the focus has been on Jon and his father, so it’s a beautiful moment to see her opening up. Very sad.
Where are the Wildlings going? Is it me or is the default position of anyone on this show “on the move”. Almost every group we see seem to be travelling. The people at King’s Landing are the only ones that are static, now Winterfell’s gone.
Oh shit, Mackenzie Crook! Now I SWEAR every ubiquitous Brit actor has shown up!
Oh Sam. Everyone’s so awful to him. Lots of people in this show need some swift justice. Love the Twat-in-chief being told that if Sam dies, he does – nice karma already 🙂
Ah, is this the start of us finally starting to understand Bran’s dreams? Is he a Warg?
Yay more Arya! Missed you! And we meet The Brotherhood without Banners. They seem fun…
Still loving Shae/Tyrion 🙂
Margaery DOES play little innocent flower well! (Joffrey is showing his true colours already and being threatening towards her, and she’s getting out of it nicely). And now she’s holding his enormous weapon!
Who is torturing Theon? Why?
Ohhh shit, Arya’s been recognised. That was an edge of seat moment.
Love how offhandedly and effortlessly Brienne defeats Jaime in the sword fight. But oh dear, others want him…
3.3: Walk of Punishment
In which Tywin adds pressure to the search for Jaime, Brienne and Jaime are captured, Arya continues her strange friendship with the Brotherhood, the Wildlings find the remains of the Night’s Watch, Theon escapes, Daenerys learns more about the unsullied (and buys them), Tyrion discovers the crown debt, and Jaime tries to negotiate his way out of capture.
Clive Russell now! Just as I think every famous Brit actor as appeared, I’m shamed into remembering someone I forgot. I loved him in Neverwhere in particular.
Tyrion is Master of Coin – haha!
Ah, they did capture Brienne and Jaime. I mean, it looked bad for them but you never know what happens offscreen.
Hmmm Arya is still “a guest”, despite them knowing who she is. Hmmm. Wonder how long she sticks with them for. I can see her learning a lot from them. Hot Pie’s left, can’t say I’m that fussed, forgettable character.
Urgh beheaded horses. Very artfully laid out though, credit there.
Wait is that Burn Gorman too now? (Not a serious question, you can spot that mouth a mile off). Right, I’m going to stop being surprised when awesome actors turn up. LOVE Burn, very pleased about this. Hope he’s in it for a few.
That bloke’s taken some risk getting Theon out – won’t they figure it’s him? Assuming he’ll escape soon too.
Daenerys is being built up to be a kind leader, showing strength through caring. I think I’ve made this observation before.
Hahah. I love how the slave trader’s translator… adapts… what he says. Oh, and she’s coming along for the journey. Lovely!
“All men must die… but we are not men”.
Tyrion is a generous man. I mean I’ve never saved anyone’s life but I don’t think if I did I’d get Genna thrown in my direction.
Oh boy Theon, I’m starting to feel sorry for you. It’s all gone a bit shit hasn’t it? Oh, bloke’s back. Quite the guardian angel!
Lots of rape/attempted rape tonight 🙁
Aw, Jaime’s talked them out of raping her. He’s showing a good side for once. What IS the Jaime/Brienne relationship?!
Eeeeek the knife in Jaime’s eye has me tense.
OH HOLY FUCK HIS HAND!
Wait, what’s the end credits all about?
3.4: And Now His Watch is Ended
(Dropping the summaries at the start now, as they’re a faff to do – I was doing them to help readers ground themselves in case my commentary was too vague. I now don’t think it IS too vague, but if you find you’re struggling to keep up now, let me know and I’ll add them back in).
Euw old hand 🙁 They’re being so brutal to Jaime. Brienne is giving a look that wonderfully balanced between concern for herself and for him.
The thing I said about Tyrion having the Londo-type story back in 3.1… I wonder if we’ve now found G’kar? Jaime was a right arse, but after all this psychological torture will he turn out to be a wise humble guy?
Varys tells the story of his genesis to Tyrion. Great performance. And wow he has a “pet”! I’m suitably terrified.
Aw Sam and Gilly and the baby. Will Sam take him? More importantly will he take her too?
Glad Bran’s dreams are starting to be a bit more relevant. They were stretching my patience.
Diana Rigg still getting some great lines, while Joffrey and Margaery skip around tombs like playful kids. Sick playful kids, but kids.
Margaery is so manipulative and Joffrey is so easily led. It’s an hilarious combination. Cersei’s not pleased though. Smart cookie.
Ohhhhh Theon’s not free. NICE. That’s gonna mess Theon up proper. Wonderful reveal as well, with the fire lighting up the giant X. Beautifully shot.
Brienne and Jaime. Yeah Will, totally shipping them. He can’t even answer her question “why did you help me?” What a confused man.
And now Cersei comes begging for Tywin’s approval, not long after Tyrion did.
Varys and Olenna getting to know each other. Another wonderful pairing. To be fair I think anyone paired up with Varys seems to make a fascinating scene. Interesting for a character I initially wrote off as a little bland.
What is Varys’s solution?!
Margaery’s well and truly got her teeth into Sansa now, supporting her love for Loras.
Oh go Karl! You’ve not been around for long but you’ve already killed off a nasty piece of work. There’s a few more around for you to get to though. (Also: Burn Gorman does “nasty” so well doesn’t he?)
Yay Sam, save Gilly! Save the baby! Go live happily ever after away from all this awfulness.
Arya. She’s still not… done much, has she? She’s been swept up in a lot of misadventures, rather like heroes in children’s books often are. Since this is not a children’s book (or if it is, George is one sick puppy), I’m more and more convinced that everything that’s happening TO her is developing her into a character that will do some interesting stuff.
Daenerys. I hope you don’t regret giving up a dragon. Have you weakened yourself? Have you strengthened a potential future enemy? I sense not, but I get why her advisers were wary.
Wait? She speaks Valeryian? Ha! Nice! And the slave trader didn’t last long so that was a swift resolution. Wow though, didn’t see any of that coming and it proves how awesome a force she is. Breathtaking moment. And she has an army now. So, the series can finish in a few episodes time, right? Daenerys, 8000 beefy guys and three dragons. No-one else has a chance.
3.5: Kissed by Fire
Flaming sword fight. Coooool. And the Hound lives to fight another day. Yay I guess?
Oooh, Jon Snow gonna break his vows in the most fun way possible. Nice.
Jaime and Brienne delivered. Too much to hope that now they’ll be treated with some dignity? So far so good… although things aren’t looking so great for Jaime’s arm.
“There will be pain”
“I’ll scream”
“Quite a bit of pain”
“I’ll scream loudly”
I mean, I disagree with Jaime’s approach to pain relief, but respect to him for following through.
Arya trying to talk Gendry into leaving to fight with the Starks. Sweet relationship they’ve built up. Hope we haven’t seen the last of him, especially as his heritage really hasn’t been explored at all yet.
Robb’s becoming quite brutal isn’t he? Ordering Karstark’s execution (and “leave him until last, make him watch”). War is toughening up everyone. Ohhh and he’s handling it himself, his dad would be so proud.
Oooh, resurrecting people (and poor Arya, briefly optimistic that her father might come back). Another fantasy element snuck in. Also potentially huge plot point down the line I imagine. Beric isn’t that important (at the moment). Which major character will “do a Spock” and have a massive death scene that gets reversed?
What the hell are all the babies in jars for? That’s just weird. Nothing else for it.
I’m not really sure what’s going on with the whole Stannis plot. The entire thread seems to be lingering without going anywhere. Except into rooms with baby jars.
Brienne and Jaime in the bath. Phew. *tugs at collar*
Daenerys trying to free the slaves of their names. Doesn’t go down well. Good try. Baby steps.
Sansa’s got very relaxed around Margaery, now she’s escaped the wrath of Joffrey. DON’T LET YOUR GUARD DOWN YOU SILLY WOMAN!
Oh dear, Loras doing gay things again. Naughty Loras. Poor Sansa.
Go with Littlefinger! I mean, frying pans and fires spring to mind but I think it’s the less risky choice right now.
Oh god the discussion about marrying Sansa and Tyrion. Sickening. So cold about both of them. Although the punchline about Cersei marrying Loras was hilarious! Interesting though how everything I said early on about Joffrey’s awfulness being brought about by his mother, also goes up a generation.
3.6: The Climb
Sam doesn’t know how to build a fire. Gilly complements him nicely. And he’s flashing that old blade around like it’s Chekhov’s dagger. Love him telling her these stories while she listens in wonder. It’s beautiful.
It’s all too perfect… She’s going to die isn’t she?
(Trying not to get on soap box but FFS don’t put a belt in Jojen’s mouth when he’s having a seizure. I don’t care if it’s a character thing, 5.5 million people watched that so someone now thinks it’s the right thing to do #epilepsyrant)
Jon and Ygritte have relaxed a lot more around each other now the tension’s gone. This new relationship is kinda fun. And I totally buy she’d wear a cock for jewellery.
Arya’s learning. Always learning. This series is winding her up tight – can’t wait to see her get released.
Interesting discussions about the power of resurrection and Thoros’s history. Beautifully performed monologue. Where’s this all going?
Melisandre predicting eyes that Arya will shut forever. She’s going to be responsible for a lot of death?
Cool visual of the wildlings climbing the ice wall.
Theon’s torturer is such a dick. And therefore of course a very good torturer.
Aargh Theon’s finger. I knew it was coming when he threatened it, but still made me wince. I don’t see how he’s going to get out of this alive?!
Brienne looks so wonderfully inappropriate in a pink dress. Brilliant!
“A sword swallower through and through” – LMAO. Obviously Tywin’s homophobic comments after are sickening but Olenna’s handling of it is hilarious, especially the accusation about Cersei and Jaime. Another beautiful pairing, T&O.
Wow, the scene where Jon and Ygritte nearly fell was tense as anything. They’d just had sex with each other so the chance of one of them dying seemed fairly high.
Ros is dead?! No! And Sansa’s been abandoned! Also that whole sequence was PERFECT – Aidan Gillen’s beautiful voice (accent be damned) over a montage with some gorgeous music, took me right back to the final scene of Queer as Folk II. Chilling (GoT, not QaF).
Stunning kiss between Jon and Ygritte at the end too, zooming out to all that computer generated scenery.
Definitely one of the most visually pleasing episodes so far.
3.7: The Bear and the Maiden Fair
I touched on this yesterday but Jon and Ygritte definitely seem a lot more chilled around each other now the sexual tension has broken. The actors do a great job playing the young romance.
Euw Robb and Talisa get a room. Technically you have one but I’m not interested in being here. They both have pleasing butts though.
Oh god they’re having a baby now. Joy.
Love Tormund’s sex advice. Brilliant 🙂
Aw Sansa you precious flower. Only just realised she’s got to have sex with Tyrion.
Ooooh I love Joffrey shrinking back as Tywin strides up to him. He may be king but grandfather has the power. Brilliant.
Whoever this chap is come to talk to Daenerys better be aware what a bad ass she is, especially around powerful men. Take care mate.
“Reject this gift, and I shall show no mercy”.
“You are mad…” oh you silly fuck.
The scene between Tyrion and Shae is hard to watch. I feel awful for them both. 🙁
Gendry finds out his lineage at last! Been waiting for ages for this. What now for him?!
Oh dear Arya, caught by the Hound. You don’t have much luck.
Jaime, Brienne, don’t say goodbye without getting it on first! Nooo! They better be reunited at some point!
Theon… free now? Maybe? Oh I’m so confused, as I’m sure is he! Mind you, they’re hot enough to be a fever dream. No, not a dream, some fucked up torture right? I don’t like this. Waiting for something to go wrong. Horribly wrong. Aaaand there he is. And no. no! Don’t do what I think you’re about to do!
Shit.
Theon’s story currently the one I keep being eager to come back to. Mainly because I have to know why, and I have to see what happens after he escapes (I’m guessing he does, otherwise this plot line has a bit of a dead end, no pun).
Jaime’s lies about Brienne backfired then. Gah. What are you going to do about that Jaime? Yay, go on a rescue mission!
“What the fuck are you doing to my bear?!”
Phew. I didn’t breathe for a minute there.
3.8: Second Sons
Go on Arya, try killing the Hound. If you fail, breaking your hands will hurt, but not as much as losing a cock (yes, I’m still obsessed with that bit).
More cocky guys trying it on with Daenerys. Dear oh dear.
Mind you, we seem to be getting to know them, so maybe they’re not going to get immediately killed off.
Sansa and Tyrion meeting. How uncomfortable. And not just because he’s had to dismiss Shae. It’s so sad. But bless him for trying.
Cersei gently threatening Maergery with a story of death and destruction, all through a smile. Those two are so alike it’s wonderful.
They’re laughing at Tyrion at his wedding. Absolute fuckers 🙁 good for him for maintaining composure.
Melisandre still getting her claws into Gendry. Everyone who doesn’t have power of their own latches onto people that have/could have it. Often using boobs. (At the start of this paragraph they were fully clothed).
Oh! No sex, just leechy things. Poor guy. Still, last time someone on this show was fake-seduced they lost their penis, just be grateful it’s just a little blood, mate.
Olenna’s summary of the complex intermarrying is on point. “Your brother will become your father-in-law, that much is beyond dispute”.
Not condoning alcoholism but drunk Tyrion is funny.
Joffrey threatening to rape Sansa. Less funny.
“You’ll be fucking your own bride with a wooden cock” – NICE.
The whole scene where Tyrion and Sansa prepare for bed – so sad. You can see their whole lives ahead of them. I can’t believe this will last. Of all the people that deserve something good, it’s them…
Oh wow, that guy’s killed that other guy! *checks Wikipedia*. Daario killed Mero and Prendahl. Don’t really know these characters yet so I can’t say I was surprised or indeed care, but OK.
Sam’s firestarting abilities are at a level with mine.
“Sometimes do you talk fancy just to confuse me?” – oh the girlfriends that have said that to me.
Oh shit, a white walker! And Sam’s offed it!
3.9: The Rains of Castamere
Will the episode 9 curse live on?
Starks are planning a move. That’s an obvious opportunity for big stuff.
“Twins. You could have either. Could have had both for all I care”. Love the terribly bland names of the Freys, and Walder forgetting one of them! Who wouldn’t want a chick named Waldra eh.
Hm. Do we trust beautiful man who’s aligned himself with Daenerys? (Name still escapes me).
Aw, Gilly worships Sam. It’s beautiful. I’m sure there’s a lot of teenage Sams out there (of both genders) getting hope from this. Stay strong kids, nerds win in the end.
Arya pushing back the Hound to stop him killing that guy. It’s great. He’s three times her size but it doesn’t stop her 🙂
Her threat to kill him sounded like a prophecy too. If she doesn’t stab him through the eye before this show is over I’ll be very surprised.
Looks like Ygritte and Snow are finally outcast from the Wildlings. Not exactly a shocking twist. Bran’s involvement is cool though – his story’s been a VERY slow burn.
Oooh shit, Dany’s advisors are in trouble.
The Starks are partying – groups of happy people always have shit go down soon after.
Dany seems very happy to see beautiful guy still alive. Oh, don’t fancy him, please. But hurrah she’s got control of the city!
More partying for the Starks.
“A sword needs a sheath”. Oh god, everyone’s so obsessed with newlyweds fucking.
What the fuck! Not even a build up here. Had to pause to write “what the fuck”. That was Talisa’s stabbing. I sense more to come. Unpausing.
Robb? Cate?! EVERYONE?! Direwolves?!
Oh god Arya how many more people are going to see killed? How are you not more fucked up?
Walder dude, WTF? You’re one messed up guy. Shit, Cate, shit.
Seriously long pause now while I just stare dumbfounded at my phone unable to post.
3.10: Mhysa
Battle aftermath. Still sounds brutal. Can’t see much but I hear much screaming.
Sansa and Tyrion forming an unlikely friendship. I like it!
Joffrey, don’t go up against Tywin, you won’t win. Tywin’s brilliant at putting people in their place.
Walder’s barking mad isn’t he?
Yay back to Theon, this is what I’ve been waiting for! And finally I get to see that meme of the torturer wobbling his sausage that’s been popping up for the last week or so 😉
Sam and Bran’s stories have merged. It feels like it’s been a long time since two ongoing plots have mixed in together (Arya seeing yesterday’s massacre notwithstanding).
Theon’s cock in a box. 🤮
At this point I’m a little confused about who the torturer is. We know his name but I can’t fit him into the mental family tree.
Yay for Theon’s sister showing a good side!
Shae’s been asked to leave. Poor Shae 🙁
Arya’s killed her first man. Brutal.
“You know nothing Jon Snow”. So sad. Don’t separate. Oh Christ, don’t shoot him either love! This is just horrible. When will they see each other again?!
“Why is there a g in night?” Good question.
And now Jon reunited with Sam! I have to say it feels like without introducing new characters, this episode seems to be shaking things up a bit ready for new relationships in the next season.
…and Jaime and Cersei too now! Yep, season four is shaping up to be very interesting indeed. So many characters who knew each other, forced apart, grew, now back together as “different” people.
Davos (helping Gendry escape and then talking Stannis out of taking his life) is becoming an interesting character at last, after I asked in 2.10 why the author bothered to spare him.
“People learn to love their chains”. Daenerys is wise. Powerful ending to the season.
Season Four
4.1: Two Swords
Another cold open (another pun – swords being forged). All seems very serious.
And now we see Jaime’s relationship with Tywin is… well, just the same as everyone else’s. This seems an apt episode to be watching on Father’s Day.
Indira Virma’s shown up. Cool. And I see the abundance of sex from the first season is back, with a horny bi couple. Fun times. And he’s already attacked a Lannister soldier – this can’t end well. He’s going to piss off the wrong people soon. Very soon?
Dragons are getting big!
Tyrion is a real sweetie to Sansa. And she, like Arya, is really broken now by the death of every close family member. Will be really interesting when the two of them are reunited – possibly quite a formidable force.
Oh Shae, you’re playing a dangerous game. It’s understandable but dangerous.
Hurrah, Jaime has a fake hand. That’ll save on effects.
Jaime: “Something’s changed”
Cersei: “EVERYTHING’s changed”
Just the point I made in the last episode. Also what a shit she’s being.
Sam’s also come a long way. He’s not exactly Jon’s equal but they’re talking on much more equal footing.
And yay, Jon’s head stays on his shoulders.
Joffrey being a dick to Jaime. Looking forward to Joffrey getting a good slapping down. I hope it’s drawn out and humiliating.
So many men try it on with Daenerys. She seems intrigued by new beardy guy but I’m not convinced she has time for romance. She seems to have been pretty focussed so far.
Brienne and Jaime – so much sexual tension.
The drunk knight giving Sansa the necklace – beautiful. I might be crying just a little.
The Hound is bloody cool sometimes isn’t he? “You gonna die for some chickens?” “Someone is”.
Woah fuck, Arya’s just turned into a really cool killer. I was waiting for this. Didn’t appreciate how it would all happen in just a moment. Quite a surprise. What next?!
Mostly another “moving the pieces” episode. Not much happened. Good though!
4.2: The Lion and the Rose
So Ramsay isn’t just a dick to Theon. Equal opportunities. Poor Theon though – he’s proper twitching. I know I didn’t like him for a while but I hope he’s going to turn out OK after all this.
LOVE the cut from Theon straight to Tyrion being handed a giant sausage.
Interesting to see Ramsay outside the torture chamber where he has power. Man, everyone in this show is fucked over by their parents.
And of course we’re all watching carefully to see if Theon takes his opportunity with the blade – but of course he won’t. Tense bloody scene though.
Really? Trusting Joffrey with a dirty great big sword? Sigh. Still, he might impale himself on it by accident.
Oh Tyrion! Don’t push Shae away! I know you’re trying to protect her and Sansa but don’t do it. This is tragic. I’m gutted – I really wanted them to work out. Only crying a little bit.
Wow, huge vision for Bran there. Only bits made sense now but I’m sure all will make sense eventually! (Watched enough Babylon 5 to know nothing in dream sequences goes to waste in a well planned story).
Sansa watching Joffrey’s wedding. You escaped, love, be happy.
Man Loras has fucking good gaydar. Spotted Oberyn a mile off!
Well that was the closest thing to an admission that Brienne loves Jaime. Awwww. My heart missed a beat ❤️
Oh Pycelle, you’re still awesome in your own special way. Missed you. Hope I’m as lecherous at your age. #lifegoals
Ohhhh the dwarf battle is NOT going down well. Tyrion looks VERY pissed off. NICELY handled when Joffrey tries goading him. And Tywin doesn’t look happy with any of this either. Have you finally crossed the line?
How did he do that without killing any of the dov— oh.
What? What’s the coughing about?
WHAT?
Who?!
Wow
Well, I knew with that attitude he wasn’t going to survive the series but I didn’t expect it to happen now. And in that way.
With Joffrey out of the way, a LOT is about to change. Major power shifts possible all over the place.
4.3: Breaker of Chains
Shit they’ve already spotted Sansa’s gone. RUN!
Oh yay, Littlefinger to the rescue! But why? And oh no, poor drunk 🙁 and what, the story about the necklace was a lie?! Oh that’s sad.
Tywin’s already planning the next king – and this time he’s got there at the start. Maybe he’ll be better than Joffrey, running rampant with his mother’s blessing.
Jaime is being remarkably level headed, making sure they have the right man before Cersei goes killing Tyrion. And oh, incestuous snogging, missed that. Hang on, are they going to fuck next to Joffrey’s corpse? Wrong wrong wrong.
(Interesting that she was pushing him away – seemingly because of the location rather than because she didn’t want it – and he carried on, which brings up all sorts of rape questions I don’t want to open up here… I imagine when this aired it probably sparked some debate).
The Hound and Arya – such a brilliant mismatched pairing. I’m enjoying them more and more very quickly!
The Sam and Gilly romance continues. “Thank you for worrying about me”. It’s so adorable.
Bi orgy! This really isn’t the show to watch with your mum is it?
Onto the murder mystery at last, as Tyrion tries to figure out who it was (he seems genuinely desperate too, so I’m pretty confident it wasn’t him). And he gets more noble every time we return to him – now ordering Podrick not to refuse to testify against him.
Wildling attack! Good to see Ygritte again. Makes me happy.
Daenerys is getting very protective over a fight with a guy who… doesn’t look like he’s in a state to put up much of a fight. But of course beautiful guy can go fight, and she’ll fancy him for it. Sigh, Daenerys, you could do better. Why don’t you see Jorah right in front of you?
NICE execution though. Smooth. And piss on their land for added hilarity.
4.4: Oathkeeper
Daenery’s latest potential followers don’t seem as clear cut as the last lot. I wonder if these will become enemies.
…or maybe not. Looks like Grey Worm is nicely planning a revolt.
Each episode so far has been heavily balanced in favour of a particular plot line, more than the balanced plots of prior seasons. Does this mean lots of subtitles tonight? Ugh.
Ok, revolt was very quick. I was way off the mark. And oh, she’s dishing out justice harshly. Corks.
Tyrion and Jaime trying to work out who killed Joffrey – nice interplay, not sure we’ve seen much of them before? Also love Tyrion’s last line: “Sansa’s no killer. Not yet anyway”. I predicted she’d snap eventually – I guess I’m not the only one. And I’m still looking forward to her being reunited with Arya.
So wait, Littlefinger was behind Joffrey’s death? But who actually handled the poison? And why? Ok, so while he was talking about his “new friends” wanting it badly, we cut to Olenna. I SAID she was closest to the goblet. Was this indeed a joint effort? Or is this just playing with people who watch too much TV?
I was just wondering why Jon Snow was training the Nights Watch all of a sudden. Seems I wasn’t the only one.
Maergery doesn’t seem too sad about having to marry her dead husbands baby brother. And she’s a great pricktease.
Brienne has a new mission! Yay! Although it takes her away from Jaime. Boo. She looks awesome in the new armour though.
Another horrible goodbye 😭 This season’s specialising. Season five better see everyone back together!
Oh wow Burn Gorman’s a nasty piece of work in this. Didn’t realise last time we saw him. They’re all nutters there.
…and now they have Bran and co. Oh god. This can’t end well. Who’s gonna die?
Soooooo what happens to these babies? Do I want to know? Are we, in fact, going to find out?
Aaaah, this is how new White Walkers are made? Rightyho.
4.5: First of his Name
So really, WILL Tommen be a good king? This is huge. We barely know him but we know whoever sits in that chair can change the lives of the vast majority of our characters.
Mind you, looks like he’ll be whatever Margaery will want him to be 😉
Cersei’s allowing herself to be very vulnerable and honest, opening up about Joffrey to Margaery…. why? I don’t trust her, even less if she’s being nice.
Don’t use your initiative around Daenerys. Just… don’t. Until you know her a lot better. Seems like she’s getting geared up for the big battle we’ve been waiting years for too…
Oh the Crazies are back! I’d forgotten about them! I love how Lysa’s smile drops the second she hugs Sansa. What’s her game?
Ooooh Petyr! You’re getting some! And Lysa’s doing some major exposition there. Cool.
Oh god the noises. Petyr obviously knows what he’s doing with his little finger!
Does anyone NOT know about the crown debt now? Even Cersei’s being let in on the secret.
Lysa, you’re a cruel and strange woman. But we knew this.
I was never that fussed about The Hound. But his pairing with Arya is just brilliant and really helps him come into his own.
“This isn’t the end… for you”. Ah Jojen, end of the line coming for you soon?
Oh Burn Gorman you nasty man. You’re just one of those pure evil characters with no shades of grey, aren’t you?
CLEVER Bran, freeing yourself via Hodor. Smart.
Yay, villains always get gruesome deaths in these things. Nice offing of Burn there.
And farewell to Craster’s Keep. I haven’t figured out yet whether the big climax in the final season will involve a lot of returning characters contributing to the plot in unexpected ways, but if it does, I’d love to see the survivors of Craster return. I suspect though, that this is the end of their story.
4.6: The Laws of Gods and Men
The fabled Iron Bank at last. I did wonder if they’d ever show up, considering the financial woes we keep hearing about at King’s Landing. And I did promise to stop pointing actors out but I have to make an exception – holyshititsGatiss! …and Stannis still has the chance to mount a battle.
Yay! Yara’s launching her attack! LOVE her! Can’t wait to see how this goes down! Nice calm killing of one of the guards. Oh poor Theon, he’s really had his head messed with.
What?! She left Theon behind? No! Just take out the dogs!
Thank god they kept the camera pointing at Theon’s upper body. I thought for a moment we were going to see the remains of his favourite toy. 🤮
And… wow… Ramsay’s turned Theon into Reek only to get him to “pretend” to be Theon. That’s some messed up shit. If Ramsay pulls this off, surely Theon will be Reek forever 🙁
Daenerys’s fake “thank you for sucking up to me” smile, love it. Nice to see her justice so eloquently challenged for the first time ever.
Tyrion’s trial begins… my bet is that he’ll be found guilty (after a farrago of trumped up charges… sorry, wrong show), until the real guilty party is found. If nothing else, his sarcasm will do him no favours.
Mind you, everything’s adding up against him pretty well. I’d believe it myself… if it wasn’t for the small fact that I didn’t.
Good old Jaime (a phrase I never thought I’d say), standing up to Tywin about his brand of justice. Not entirely sure about this deal though – seems like no-one wins.
Oh fuck, not Shae as a witness. What the hell is about to happen…
What?! Shae no! NO! He did say falling in love never ended well for him. He was right…
“A lie is most convincingly hidden between two truths”. From another show but summarises Shae’s testimony well.
His speech about being guilty – breathtaking. Dinklage goes from strength to strength.
Damn, need to watch the next episode now!
4.7: Mockingbird
This show has some amazing actors in it. Once it’s over (and I can risk seeing spoilers) I must go back and check who won awards. (Jaime and Tyrion prompted this comment but it goes much wider).
Yay innards. Beefy guy is cutting up a bunch of guys and we’re seeing a lot of innards, becoming outtards.
Arya meeting the guy who’s dying a slow death is so moving. Maisie Williams is superb. And wow, taking out that guy so quickly (looking like she was using one of the dance moves The Hound was mocking her for recently too). Nice.
“She’s dim witted!”
“If I wanted wits, I’d marry you.”
Oh dear, Tyrion has run out of favours. Who is going to stand up to that big bloke?!
Oooh Daenerys gonna get jiggy? It’s been a while.
Another great quiet scene between Arya and The Hound. The story of the history behind his pyrophobia is so sensitively performed by both.
Woo, Hot Pie’s back! These kind of random returns is what makes this such a wonderfully crafted world.
(Half way through episode 37 of 73… so half way mark in the series, right? Wow. Feels like I’m still waiting for something big to happen… and yet I don’t feel cheated that it hasn’t. This show is very odd – lots of “waiting”, and yet it still stays interesting).
The look on Brienne’s face: “not kidney pie?” 🤣 Her pairing with Podrick is also refreshing. I miss the sexy stares with Jaime but the comedy dialogue here is great.
“No tail between your legs, just a tiny pink cock”. After the humour, what a moving scene – Dinklage’s reaction selling it all. We knew why Cersei wasn’t fond of Tyrion, but hearing the story told so well makes it hit home. Crying a little.
Awww pretty snow-Winterfell 🙂
Sansa should know better than to humour little proto-Joffrey there. Sigh. Did she learn nothing?
The kiss! THE KISS?! She’s not struggling?! I know he initiated but SHE’S NOT STRUGGLING. I did not see that coming.
She also doesn’t seem too scared by Lysa’s clear threats while they stand looking over the scary hole. Brave girl.
“He kissed me, I pulled away”. Erm, didn’t look like that to me, love.
Lysa’s death totally predictable, especially in the moments leading up to him saying “your sister” (no shit). But still cool!
4.8: The Mountain and the Viper
Very bloody massacre to open with. Just when I was thinking nothing exciting was happening this year.
Oh Grey Worm, got your eye on Missandei eh? Didn’t think you thought that way! After this episode I feel the urge to do some googling about the effects of (part?-)castration on libido. Oooh and Missandei doesn’t seem to mind! Get (something) in there, my son…
Wow, Theon believes he’s Reek so much he can “pretend” to be Theon without breaking the brainwashing. Amazing. Genuinely can’t figure out what’s going to happen here, but I do believe he’ll be Reek forever – this shit isn’t going to wear off easily. Funny how as Theon he’s suddenly able to look people in the eyes again, and overall sounds more confident.
Ohhhh fake-Theon’s breaking…
Lysa: “an odd fish”. Quite.
Wow, Sansa, I believed you were going to cover for him. I really did… oh, ok, you kinda are. Like I said recently, a lie is most convincingly hidden between two truths. Nice work Sansa. You and Baelish have something in common now – VERY good liars.
Nice close up of a map that looks very similar to the opening credits. Surprised it’s not been done before (that I’d noticed).
Oh Jorah Jorah Jorah 🙁 I liked you! I’d been sticking up for you! I’m so disappointed. I feel quite emotionally drained from his exile. Some of the people on this show really draw you in and fuck you over eh.
Ramsay got his name. After all that at least something good came out for someone 🤷🏻♂️.
What’s Arya walking into? Not what she’s expecting for sure. Oh her reaction to the condolences are glorious though!
Wow, Sansa, you’ve… changed!
So will Oberyn be triumphant? Traditionally now would be a good time. But we’re fast approaching the big “episode nine”, which could be all about Tyrion’s escape or somesuch if Oberyn fails.
Oh Christ he’s drinking too.
(Tyrion gets a little sexual joke in though – hah)
You’ve won you silly bastard. Leave it!
OH MY GOD THAT WAS DISGUSTING.
(Technically, Tywin, wasn’t it a draw?)
4.9: The Watchers on the Wall
Sam asking Jon what it’s like to have someone really reminds me of the nudge nudge wink wink sketch (“you’ve done it… wiv a lady?”). And clever Sam, interpreting those vows!
Is it wrong that I get a little turned on whenever Ygritte says “Jon Snuuuur”?
Sam saying “open the fucking gate!” – wow, he means business!
OK, so having predicted the big episode 9 thing would be all about Tyrion – now looks like it’s a huge-ass Wildlings vs Night’s Watch. Could not have been more wrong!
Aw, Sam kissing Gilly. My heart stopped a moment. ❤️
And half way through it’s clear this is one single-location battle scene. Which is all fine and well but means this will probably be a short write-up 😉
I’m not ENTIRELY sure the Night’s Watch is going to be victorious…
“You’re all right – I’ll get help”. Bless you Sam, he’s got an arrow right through his neck.
Nice hammer (?) through the head killing by Snow there.
What?! Ygritte? No! Or should I say “nuurrrr!” Fucks sake, all my favourites are dying. Next season’s gonna be rubbish 🙁
Lots of minor recurring characters seem to have left us too. Looks like Tormund made it though, that’s something.
I see this was directed by the guy that did Blackwater. I see why they asked him back for this one.
Also, I only look at actor bios etc on IMDb after they leave the show (too much spoiler risk). Rose Leslie is Scottish?! Aw, my listing for that accent is all based on fiction. I don’t think I want to hear what she really sound like.
4.10: The Children
Woah, what’s this, another battle? Certainly an insane number of CGI extras, all very neatly aligned. And coming from both sides – bloody hell! Wildlings are screwed.
Oh, it’s Stannis’s lot! What’s their beef? Didn’t see that coming (should I?)
“Burn the dead before nightfall. All of them.” Eeesh, are we getting ready for the fifth season here?
Some Frankenstein shit going on here. We all remember people being brought back from the dead before on this show. It’s not good.
Jaime and Cersei are back to old tricks. All fine and well but don’t forget your brother, Jaime!
One final farewell to Ygritte 😭 I’m not crying. Much.
Oh Bran and crew – I’d forgotten you guys! Holy shit – skeleton attack! This I was not expecting!… cool 😉 and now a wise old guy in a tree. This has SUDDENLY gone full on fantasy. Which is fine by me 🙂
Arya and Brienne! What an exciting idea for a team up. I’m so glad they’ve met. If they stick together for a bit they will definitely become my favourite storyline. Brienne is totally Arya in the future.
Awesome Brienne/Hound fight 🙂
Although… I hope it stops before one of them does. I kinda want both to live.
No! Is she going to have to kill The Hound? Hm. Maybe not. I think she should have. I’m sure by now she owes him a favour.
Ooooh Tyrion escape! How exciting!!
Shae?! And did she just say “Tywin”?! Bitch! But… Tyrion?! Wow, that must have hurt 🙁 I mean, her more, but I can’t imagine the pain for him. Fuck.
Don’t trust Tywin!
Woah, I mean don’t necessarily shoot him. But don’t trust him.
Ok, fair enough, shoot him. But shit, brutal.
Amazing ending. Usually I’m left slightly teased for the following season. This time I feel excited.